We'll be trying soon.

Talk about whatever you feel like.
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Dreamer
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We'll be trying soon.

Post by Dreamer » Tue Feb 23, 2016 3:41 pm

Okay, so my beautiful fiancée and I will be married soon. Then a honeymoon. Then we'll start trying.
you know... trying for a mini-us.

So tell me if this is weird, okay?

I'm looking so forward to the baby (I want a girl, but that's arbitrary, really).

But, damn it... I'm looking forward to the sex. I know, whatever. Shame on me.

Shut up.

so I'm totally going to get lube for us and replace its entire contents with spermicidal lube.

BOOM! I mean, that's, what... 75% effective? something like that?

Look, I'm not good at math. So shut up. But that's got to be, like, 75% more sex, right? Again. not strong with math.

But think of it! That lube will kill off the weaklings! When a swimmer does get through you know it's a winner.

And also... you know... the sex I'll get... Will be higher...
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Rorschach
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Re: We'll be trying soon.

Post by Rorschach » Tue Feb 23, 2016 3:44 pm

Pregnant sex is brilliant. Like pumping a big, sexy cow. Only no farmers shout at me.
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Dreamer
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Re: We'll be trying soon.

Post by Dreamer » Tue Feb 23, 2016 3:55 pm

Great... My farmer's going to be pissed.

Now I have to cancel my wedding.

Thanks.
My sig would have contained the secret of life, but I'd already clicked submit.
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Dreamer
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Re: We'll be trying soon.

Post by Dreamer » Tue Feb 23, 2016 11:38 pm

Wait... Now I think you may have been referring to the...

To something else...

How do I put this politely... I mean, I want to be discreet. Because it's a beautiful thing, a woman's body and what it can do...

Sooo....

Let's go with...

"Milk pillows"?
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Deacon
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Re: We'll be trying soon.

Post by Deacon » Wed Feb 24, 2016 5:09 am

No, he was referring to fucking a bovine in a pasture.
The follies which a man regrets the most in his life are those which he didn't commit when he had the opportunity. - Helen Rowland, A Guide to Men, 1922
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FirebirdNC
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Re: We'll be trying soon.

Post by FirebirdNC » Wed Feb 24, 2016 11:59 am

Rorschach wrote:Pregnant sex is brilliant. Like pumping a big, sexy cow. Only no farmers shout at me.
A big sexy cow? Your wife would turn you into a steer if she heard that. Dreamer you should def weed out the weaklings. . . . just hope it's not all of them.
~Insert clever bon mot here~
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Rorschach
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Re: We'll be trying soon.

Post by Rorschach » Wed Feb 24, 2016 12:54 pm

Cows are sexy! Big wet eyes. Like Princess Di talking to Martin Bashir.

Image

Mmm...

Anyway, here's what expectant/new fatherhood is like: you see an absolute honey on a hot day, pushing a pram. She must have a personal trainer to have returned to such ridiculous fitness and yet her boobs are high and heavy. The newest member of the MILF club. You know what you think when you pass her?
"Oh, that's a nice Pliko Switch."
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Deacon
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Re: We'll be trying soon.

Post by Deacon » Wed Feb 24, 2016 3:31 pm

Ah, priorities...
The follies which a man regrets the most in his life are those which he didn't commit when he had the opportunity. - Helen Rowland, A Guide to Men, 1922
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Dreamer
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Re: We'll be trying soon.

Post by Dreamer » Wed Feb 24, 2016 9:00 pm

Sorry, Rors. You lost me at "pram."
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Martin Blank
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Re: We'll be trying soon.

Post by Martin Blank » Fri Feb 26, 2016 11:57 pm

Rorschach wrote:Anyway, here's what expectant/new fatherhood is like: you see an absolute honey on a hot day, pushing a pram. She must have a personal trainer to have returned to such ridiculous fitness and yet her boobs are high and heavy. The newest member of the MILF club. You know what you think when you pass her?
"Oh, that's a nice Pliko Switch."
I don't even have kids yet and I do stuff like that. My wife checks out more T&A in a week than I do all year.
If I show up at your door, chances are you did something to bring me there.
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