Tick tock.

Dreamer · Post by **Dreamer** » Wed Jan 13, 2016 9:14 pm

I'll be married in so very few days. April 9th.

I just... Well...

Okay... Hang in with me here...

I guess not much has changed. when I was dating... right? Okay, so when I was doing that I'd send out unsolicited pics of my wiener all the time. just... well... pretty much constantly, really. Chicks' phones out there in the worlds are just lousy with pics of my business, I'm sure of it. Simply blowing up with dong. Granted, they were never welcome. There were like... Hmmm... is there a more PC word for "restraining order"? No? Okay... Meh, whatever then... restraining order. well... Orders... But whatever. I digress...

And now? Here I am... About to be married in under 90 days...

And my response to phone-bones is still:

"Please don't do this"
or
"I was in a meeting"
and
"my laptop was on the projector."

Ugh...

Yeah... And typically it's all of those statements pretty much in that order... In one response...

At the same time.

Today.

Long story short... will someone please accept a wiener pick and NOT complain because they're "at work" and "all their friends saw my ding-ding" and "some of the women laughed" and then "a discussion started" about "what really matters"?

I think there was something in there about someone finally deciding to go lesbo. I'm not sure, there was a lot of snickering. And my fiancée was crying. I got annoyed and hung up.

I just want to be prepared when I finally call her back from the hotel she booked for me to stay in tonight.

Suggestions anyone?

Like, is marriage going to be this weird forever? As weird as engagement?

gravity · Post by **gravity** » Thu Jan 14, 2016 12:40 pm

There's a photographer in NY that specializes in dressing your penis up in little doll clothes and then photographing it for art exhibitions. Then your boner inspired discussion can be considered high brow and arty.

Deacon · Post by **Deacon** » Thu Jan 14, 2016 7:14 pm

Little doll clothes? Pfff... For mine we're talking at least like those American Girl dolls.

Post by **FirebirdNC** » Fri Jan 15, 2016 12:57 pm

I love how you can take a discussion of dick pics and turn it into "mine is bigger". Dreamer I don't know how seriously to take your post it has major ick factor.

Dreamer · Post by **Dreamer** » Fri Jan 15, 2016 2:58 pm

Okay, then for your benefit I will admit that it was fiction constructed for the enjoyment of others.

I didn't send a picture of my wiener to my fiancée. I'd say I never have, but I did one time. But we were home together and I thought it would be funny because she was in the bathroom for... Let's call it an "extended stay."

My ding-ding was never projected to her co-workers. I hope that makes you feel better about the story.

Post by **FirebirdNC** » Sat Jan 16, 2016 12:00 pm

Much better thank you, I have never understood sending someone you don't know unasked for pictures of your junk. I mean if they want them then pose away, but an unwanted one is pretty aggressive. As a girl I have certainly been asked on more than one occasion for naked/boob pics, but even with anonymous photos I don't like the thought of those kinds of pictures of me possibly floating around the internet. To be fair my husband is usually the one asking lol, but he doesn't even password protect his phone so not happening.

Post by **FirebirdNC** » Sat Jan 16, 2016 12:24 pm

I swear to you guys this was on page one of failblog not even 10 minutes after I posted here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U4zUauDluP8 I have a set of tabs I open every morning failblog being one of them and lo and behold this was waiting for me. How strange is that?

Rorschach · Post by **Rorschach** » Sat Jan 16, 2016 2:44 pm

By sheer coincidence, one of my friends sent me an erection dressed as Batman on whatsapp the other day.

I found a phone in the bar when I worked in Edinburgh and, of course, I looked through it. It belonged to one of the girls who came in for football days and one of the videos was a guy stroking his cock while moaning 'Oh Pauline, you love it', which was really only interesting for two reasons: mine was bigger and 'Pauline' is not a name that sits well in sexy talk.

I have sent the wife a picture of my tumescence from work before when I was frisky and trying to get her in the mood. When I was making a donation to the sperm-bank last year, she kind of returned the favour.

Wait. How did we get onto this?

Post by **FirebirdNC** » Sat Jan 16, 2016 8:53 pm

Uh don't we always in some way shape or form?

Rorschach · Post by **Rorschach** » Sat Jan 16, 2016 9:37 pm

It's like the last days of Rome around here nowadays.

Most good.

Cyberliger777 · Post by **Cyberliger777** » Sat Feb 06, 2016 11:32 am

Wait, so are we not making a text group to send pics now so strangers can be saved? 8675309 is going to be very disappointed to hear this.

Rorschach · Post by **Rorschach** » Mon Feb 08, 2016 8:57 am

One of my friends swings. Him and his wife.
Dirty bastards.

Rorschach · Post by **Rorschach** » Mon Feb 15, 2016 10:53 am

Also, this thread - like all things - needs more Ke$ha.

Dreamer · Post by **Dreamer** » Wed Feb 24, 2016 9:17 pm

I have a friend of a friend who's "married" to a man and wife.
I'd use the proper word for it, but I don't know if there is one.

Deacon · Post by **Deacon** » Wed Feb 24, 2016 10:22 pm

Yeah, "triangled" doesn't really roll off the tongue.

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