More Mensajitos

[gravity]

Congrats! Also, thank you for promising that she won't try to set me on fire, because that's always the first thing I wonder about a person.

[FirebirdNC]

I will ask that you be spared the conflagration.

[Deacon]

Well played.

[gravity]

Dear Cunt (yes, her again),

You're dumb. Some of us were discussing an old military project involving getting dolphins to speak (it didn't work, yes, it's the same project mentioned on the Drunk Tank podcast #151), and you decided your opinion needed to be heard and it solidified why you're a moron: you claim dolphins can't speak because god didn't want them to. Yes, that was your entire statement after hearing us discuss vocal cords and muscle flexibility.

I want to throttle you and toss you out a window to save the world from your stupidity. The best part is that I was talking to some friends back home and one of them had classes with you. My reaction is considered a normal reaction to your presence. That's right, you are, apparently, fairly universally hated. Your mother-aunt home schooled you and taught you poorly, and I'm sorry that CPS did not remove you from your family's realm of influence before the damage was done, but I am hopeful that you're too stupid to figure out which hole the penis goes into to reproduce so there is hope that you are the last generation.

Also, hating on Star Wars because Finn is black (she's been bitching all week about how all of us that went and enjoyed the movie have been brain washed by the mass media into accepting black people and women in what is supposed to be a white man's movie)? Yeah, the actor is black. And Star Wars awesome. And you can go fuck yourself with a lightsaber you racist cunt.

Signed,

She who is now going to celebrate the winter break by sleeping in and telling the world to go fuck itself

[raptor9k]

Much anger I sense in this one...

[gravity]

Dear Cunt,

Wow. Just wow. So she's bragging about supporting those inbred hicktards in Oregon that are currently residing in a bird sanctuary with a thousand dildos and enough glitter to make Liberace's eyes bleed. I mean, it's one thing to be a backwards, inbred racist yourself, but to start bragging about it? I hope she gets hit by a train. And not one of those small, local trains that stop at every station. No, she needs to get hit by one of the shinkansen. Preferably loaded with elephants. Large elephants. Because that's a better image than the three sizes too small clothes she has started strapping herself into in yet another desperate attempt to break into a modeling career of some sort. I'm sorely tempted to just point her toward Roppongi at this point, she's old enough to do porn and she's dumb enough not to know what it is.

Yours,

She who is busy trying not to start a betting pool for when a seam will split and air starved fat will cave out

[Deacon]

Air starved fat?

[raptor9k]

I think that's a reference to the tight clothing.

Gravity, you might have a better quality of life if you just ignore her. You can't fix stupid. You seem to be actively making your own life worse by focusing on this chick so much...

[Deacon]

Ah, I didn't connect those dots.

[gravity]

I do ignore her. The problem is is that she's the only other American female on campus, which means we have several classes together at the moment, and all of the professors keep getting us mixed up (yes, the entire 'all Americans look the same' issue exists among professors here). Honestly, I never see her outside of class. But I have upwards of three hours of class a day with her, so that's still a lot of time. There's only ten people in my classes with her as well. I can't wait for this semester to be over.

It's just that she likes to shout her stupid out to the world in every class, pretty much literally, so it's driving me nuts! When you get cooped up with that every day, it drives at you. That, and the only other thing I have to rant about is how much I hate writing difficult term papers, but that's fairly normal. I mean yeah, I am having to translate all my sources as well, but I knew that was going to happen.

[raptor9k]

Actually, it's more a 'All people of another ethnic background look the same' thing, and it applies to everyone everywhere. It has to do with how your brain documents differences in face shapes by creating a baseline image.

If they're mistaking you for her, the tight clothing will probably help them tell you apart in all honesty. Create as many visual differences to stand out from her and let your profs know you don't share her views if it's actually causing you grief in your studies.

[FirebirdNC]

Time for a crazy hair color or even a color stripe .

[Deacon]

Might even help her blend in with the rest of the Japanese folks.

[gravity]

I'm 183cm tall, Deacon. Nothing will make me blend in for they are a tiny breed and I am their Godzilla. Also, the hair dye over here sucks pretty bad, they don't have any properly good over the counter hair bleach for some reason. I can't understand how a country obsessed with drawing people with odd colored hair limits your choices of getting said hair to expensive hair salons!

[Deacon]

I wasn't really suggesting that a crazy hair color would actually camouflage you among Japanese ladies.