Namesakes emails

[Arres]

I normally call the people who mis-send me email, but I love the idea of simply cancelling the reservation. You sir, are a hero. I think the best one I ever got was to a posh Las Vegas bachelor party. After chatting with the group about not being the Allen they thought I was, they suggested that I come instead because I was more amusing. Alas, I couldn't. But had I still been single....

[Deacon]

Haha, that sounds awesome

I have no such luck. Mine are rarely all that entertaining. At best I get a boring, "So sorry about that!" type response. At worst I get, "SCREW YOU WHY YOU DONT JUST IGNORE WHAT A JERK LIKE YOU NEVER MADE A MISTAKE" or something along those lines. Most of the time I simply get no response, so I stopped responding except on rare occasion when it seems innocent enough.

[Deacon]

This one took me by surprise...

from: MEMS2@qmrs.com.au
to: (me and a whole bunch of others)
date: Mon, Apr 14, 2014 at 10:21 PM
subject: New Incident of Type Fire Created

A new Incident was created in MEMS2:
Incident Location: CHPP (?)
Incident Type: Fire
Date of Incident: 15/04/2014 10:19:15
Time of Call: 15/04/2014 10:18:33
Date of Response: 15/04/2014 18:10:00
Current Situation: we will die

Incident Control Team:
CEO: Andrew Campbell
Duty Manager: Alfred Newman
Planning Controller: Robert James
Operation Controller: Henry McAllister



---
Это сообщение свободно от вирусов и вредоносного ПО благодаря защите от вирусов avast!
http://www.avast.com

[Deacon]

Just run of the mill junk.

from: renato cuesta renato.cuesta@yahoo.com
to: (me)
date: Wed, Apr 9, 2014 at 9:52 PM

(no text)

[Deacon]

This one was sweet, actually, and from someone who's mis-emailed me before, too. I'll include my reply and her response as well. Note she has a typo in her address book entry regardless.

from: Ruth Publicover <ripublicover@hotmail.com>
to: deacon pubkicover (my address)
date: Sun, Apr 20, 2014 at 8:44 AM
subject: (no subject)

Happy Easter Deacon
Nama was thinking about your early this morning. Your gifts and card are precious to me.
I have the pictures up I feel so grateful for you and all the talents you have.
We are about ready for church.
Will write soon.
Love You
Nama.

from: (me)
to: Ruth Publicover <ripublicover@hotmail.com>
date: Sun, Apr 20, 2014 at 9:52 AM

I'm flattered, but surely you meant to send this to someone else, right?

from: Ruth Publicover <ripublicover@hotmail.com>
to: deacon pubkicover (my address)
date: Sun, Apr 20, 2014 at 2:08 PM

Sorry, thanks for letting me know I made an error in the name.
Happy Easter.

[BtEO]

This one took me by surprise...

Current Situation: we will die

Holy crap!

[Deacon]

I know, right? Surely it was some sort of test, not part of the dharma initiative.

[ampersand]

You should pitch the "we will die" memo to the makers of Silent Hill, would make a great Umbrella Corporation episode.

[Deacon]

Haha, it is rather perfect...

[Deacon]

There is ALWAYS school tomorrow, Giselle (who is on Google Plus). I replied to set her straight on that point.

from: Giselle Maynard giselle.maynard@mail.tt
to: (me)
date: Wed, Apr 23, 2014 at 6:15 PM
subject: No school tomorrow

Hi, can you confirm that there is no school tomorrow?

Thanks

[Gowerlypuff]

Hi 9th grade parents. Invitations to the 9th grade formal were mailed last week. I have attached the consent
form in case you did not receive one.

Please let your children know that they do not need to have a date to attend!

We will need parent volunteers for chaperones that evening from 8-11pm. Please email
Lori Cooper ( jamcooper@me.com) if you are interested.

This is not a school sponsored event...more of a tradition. We need volunteers to make
it happen!

Thanks,
<Name>

It's good that my kid doesn't need a date to attend. I could imagine that being awkward.
I have replied to all of these, every time saying "THAT'S NOT ME", but alas nothing being done.

Poor Zeth is going to have missed his meds AND a prom

[Deacon]

Haha I love it. At the moment I'm having a conversation with a group of old people in Florida who are part of a Croquet and Coffee Club. I'm trying to convince them to disband. Nobody has questioned why I'm part of the conversation.

[Gowerlypuff]

"Remember joining Power Up Rewards today?

If not, you should see a brain doctor."

Well, shit.

[Deacon]

Time to give the ol' NHS a try.

[Deacon]

I've been remiss in keeping these up, but here's one from today. This is not your run of the mill silliness. Check out that subject line. Yes, really.

from: Carlett'e Shavers (ministershavers@gmail.com)
to: ms Ellen (actually me)
date: Fri, May 23, 2014 at 12:46 PM
subject: The cleaning of your apartment consisted of washing of the walls vaccuming the window seals, cleaning the closets out ,sweeping the floors, moping and waxing ,cleaning the bathroom, and refrigerator 8hr. Cleaning the apt painting of the apt was 181/2 hours ,also thee out side takes me some times between 2 and 3 hours depending on trash that is blown on the grass and in between the trees with in three days the smell will be completely gone by Tuesday evening.

body: Greetings, Ms. Allen