Facebook bullshit

[Rorschach]

I don't like Facebook.

Which is ironic as I have a Facebook account and check it several times a day to see if anything interesting is happening.
I occassionally even post on it if I have something I think interesting or amusing enough to say, but as I rarely encourage the attention-whoring wankers that feel the need to inform the world of their sock colour of choice every day, I don't garner a whole lot of responses so I rarely bother. If I want to horribly and pointlessly attention-whore, I come here where people know to ignore me.

What bothers me most about Facebook, and I'm not sure if it's getting worse or if I'm just getting less tolerant with age, is the bullshit people post in the guise of cautionary tales, inspirational stories, grief-mongering or out and out lies - all seemingly posted with good intentions, but really just designed to attract a 'like'.

Here's the kind of thing I'm talking about. They're cut-and-pastes as I don't know how to do any of that screen-grabbing nonsense, but you'll need to take my word that they're genuine. Also, I've spoiler tagged them as some of them are quite long.

The total fucking lie. Explotative and presumably supposed to help simpletons come to learn some kind of twee life lesson

"When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sa...t down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed -dead. My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push through with the divorce.— At least, in the eyes of our son—- I’m a loving husband….

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves.

So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

If you don’t share this, nothing will happen to you.

If you do, you just might save a marriage. Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up. ♥

Remember love is the richest of all treasures. Without it there is nothing; and with it there is everything. Love never perishes , even if the bones of a lover are ground fine like powder. Just as the perfume of sandalwood does not leave it, even if it is completely ground up, similarly the basis of love is the soul, and it is indestructible and therefore eternal. Beauty can be destroyed , but not love. ♥

SHARE THIS POST AFTER READINGSee More

No you didn't. No she didn't. No it isn't. And putting 'CANCER' in all-caps won't change the fact that this story is a lie.

The bullshit health warning. How ever did we manage before Facebook? And I thought McDonald's food was healthy

Can you guess what McDonald's food item this is????? Say hello to mechanically seperated chicken. It's what all fast-food chicken items are made of. It's chicke...n nuggets, patties, and the meat in fajitas... In addition the processed frozen chicken in stores is made from this.. Basiclly the entire chicken is smashed and pressed through a sieve... bones, eyes, feet, guts and all. It comes out looking like this... There is more, because it's crawling with bacteria, it will be washed with ammonia, and soaked in it.. Then because it taste gross it is reflavored artificially. Finally since it is weirdly colored like 'Pepto Bismol' pink, it is dyed with artificial color.. This is what people eat and feed to their children... Enjoy !!!See More

The shit poetry. Aw, look! Children! Doesn't even scan.

Slow down mummy, there is no need to rush,
slow down mummy, what is all the fuss?
Slow down mummy, make yourself a cup of tea.
Slow down mummy, come and spend s...ome time with me.

Slow down mummy, let's put our boots on and go out for a walk,
let's kick at piles of leaves, and smile and laugh and talk.
Slow down mummy, you look ever so tired,
come sit and snuggle under the duvet and rest with me a while.

Slow down mummy, those dirty dishes can wait,
slow down mummy, lets have some fun, lets bake a cake!
Slow down mummy I know you work a lot,
but sometimes mummy, its nice when you just stop.

Sit with us a minute,
& listen to our day,
spend a cherished moment,
because our childhood is not here to stay!See More

Out of the mouth of babes? Or precocious little shit who richly deserves a sound beating? Or some overweight sex-criminal living in his mother's basement? I think the latter.

Scare-mongering. Facebook sure loves to mention rape as much as possible.

‎1.00pm in the afternoon, and Lauren was driving to visit a friend, when an UNMARKED police car pulled up behind her and put its lights on. Lauren's parents have 4 children (of various ages) and have always told them never to pull over for an unmarked car on the side of the road, but rather wait until they get to a ser...vice station, etc.
So Lauren remembered her parents' advice, and telephoned 112 from her mobile phone.
This connected her to the police dispatcher she told the dispatcher that there was an unmarked car with a flashing blue light behind her and that she would not pull over right away but wait until she was in a service station or busy area.
The dispatcher checked to see if there was a police car where she was and there wasn't and he told her to keep driving, remain calm and that he had back-up already on the way.
Ten minutes later 4 police cars surrounded her and the unmarked car behind her.
... One policeman went to her side and the others surrounded the car behind.
They pulled the guy from the car and tackled him to the ground........t­he man was a convicted rapist and wanted for other crimes.
I never knew that bit of advice, but especially for a woman alone in a car, you do not have to pull over for an UNMARKED car.
Apparently police have to respect your right to keep going to a 'safe' place.
You obviously need to make some signals that you acknowledge them I.e., put on your hazard lights) or call 112 like Lauren did.
Too bad the mobile phone companies don't give you this little bit of wonderful information.
So now it's your turn to let your friends know about 112 (112 is an emergency number on your mobile that takes you straight to the police because 999 does not work if you have no signal).
This is good information that I did not know!

Please pass on to all your friends, especially any females.See More

AND HE WAS CALLING FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE!1 Bullshit.

That last one, and I wish I'd kept it now as it exemplifies pretty much my entire objection, reminds me of a post that was doing the rounds not long after the Indian girl who was gang-raped on the bus died. It delighted in the detail. Delighted in it. Tragic enough that the poor girl and her family had suffered so much but to be remembered by a poorly-spelled and gratuitous tribute revelling in every detail or her ordeal and ending with 'LIKE OR YOU APPROVE OF RAPE!' or somesuch bullshit made me angrier than I remember being recently. If I die and anyone starts a 'Your an angel in heaven now and well miss your smile 4eva' post on Facebook I will return from the grave to kill them and their family.

Anyway. Rant over. I'm off to check my Facebook account to see if anyone else is having noodles for lunch today.

[Deacon]

I've noted similar things recently. On the ridiculous horseshit that people believe, I generally Google something like snopes mechanically separated chicken, copy the resulting Snopes URL if there is one, and then paste it as a comment. I might start the comment with, "Nope." and then past the link. It doesn't take long, and I hope they'll take a couple minutes to read the article so they can find out that Chicken McNuggets have been made with all white meat for the last 10 years, and that much of the rest of the stuff described is either maliciously misleading or idiotically ignorant.

What I really get tired of is the "LIKE IF YOU HATE CANCER" or "Like if you think this cute girl who shaved her head for unknown reasons, possibly to avoid a drug test that might prevent custody of her bastard child, is pretty" or "Like to support our troops" or "Like if you support children, ignore if you want Satan to assrape you" or "1 like = 1 prayer, 1 comment = 2 prayers" and other retarded bullshit. Knock it the fuck off, people.

The "like if you have any basic human decency, ignore if you are a scourge the world" stuff really annoys me. Do people really not understand the level of inanity involved and how dumbly they're being manipulated to raise the status of some random Facebook account? The latest "MY DAD SAYS IF I GET 1 MILLION LIKES HE WILL STOP TOUCHING ME" pictures also need to go.

I guess this is just a good reminder of why I hated working retail. People, on the whole, are way more stupid than brilliant--slow, shallow, mouth-breathing idiots with unearned self esteem who are quick to let demands and complaints about their "rights" fall loosely from their slack maw.

[Martin Blank]

I've limited the posts displayed on my home page by some people simply because I'm tired of the political rhetoric that is usually at least out-of-context and often flat-out wrong. Others are close to it because I'm tired many of the same things that Deacon wrote. On the first one mentioned by Rors, I've seen it numerous times and almost commented a couple of times that if your wife isn't willing to tell you something about cancer, then she's already written you off. I hadn't seen the last one, but I wanted to crash my face through my desk because if you have no signal, no emergency number will work, 112, 999, 911, whatever.

I've largely dropped back to using it to keep up with major events in the lives of people I know. Due to the aforementioned blocks, I sometimes still find out in roundabout ways. Brian made a point about how memes don't really do anything to change anyone's view, and ended the post with a line that one of his friends turned into a meme: "Wow, this image of a quote really affected me; my opinion has changed" -- Nobody, ever

I've been very tempted to post it, but I've held back because the irony would probably be too much for people. They prefer to live in their own worlds, unwilling to change because to change would suggest that they were wrong before, and for all the words that have been written about it being OK for people to not be the top of the class, they still equate "wrong" with "stupid" and no one wants to be not smart. Facebook makes it easy to advance this, adjusting their friends list to include those that agree with them and periodically "cleaning" their friends list with an obligatory "no offense to people removed" line. Of course, those who disagree with them often are dropped in many cases so they don't have to hear them.

This is very much a reason why I want to bring RLF back to something of what it was. I feel much more comfortable here in part because of the pseudo-anonymity (though anyone who tries minimally can tie me to this name) but also because the community, for all its arguments, fights, personality conflicts, and occasional stupidity, is far more inclusive and willing to listen. Even when we show that people are wrong, it's generally (not always) in a much more straightforward and open way than on Facebook. Even though I've often wanted to punch Deacon in the face in past threads, his willingness to explain his position at length has always been valued even when his hyperbole was a bit over the top. Fuggle was the same way with his weirdly anarchist viewpoints. The same goes with cs22, who needed a maturity boost (and got it when he realized he wasn't immune from banning) but has still been willing to do research (even though I had to threaten him with a ban over including references when he quoted at length).

Here, people respect it when I do six hours of research for a single post. At Facebook, after six hours, people wonder why I still care. That's an entirely different world, and while it has its benefits and I'm fine with maintaining a membership, for me, it's just a place to get soundbites from the lives of other people, and not much more.

[BtEO]

If you have people in particular who are really bad for this but you don't want to unfriend them (maybe you're related) you can unsubscribe from their updates. Hover over their name, hover over "Friends" in the box that appears, uncheck "Show in news feed." They'll never know.

[ampersand]

Had to unfriend a half cousin because she kept raving about how "God is so good with her life." I'm also considering unfriending because one puts up liberal stuff all the time, and the other putting up conservative stuff all the time. I think I'll do that now.

[Rorschach]

Rorschach[/i] likes this.

[Martin Blank]

Had to unfriend a half cousin because she kept raving about how "God is so good with her life."

That's another thing that gets to me, and a reason that one friend isn't on my front page. I'm running into others that may go simply because they share two dozen images in a row. Sometimes the additional work needed to do things on a forum is welcome because it keeps spamming like that from happening.

[Rorschach]

Man, what a busy day.

[Deacon]

I encourage bullying at all times. As far as I'm concerned, neither Hitler nor Stalin were really living up to their bullying potential.

[sneaky ninja]

I have a few fundamentalist Christian friends that manage to spam my news feed with severely inaccurate pro-life "facts" and "Obama is the anti-christ" posts. I keep them around because my sister and I laugh at them together and they are just so devastatingly ignorant, they're almost too good to delete.

The ones that really get under me skin, however, are banal updates about people's kids. "Jose asked for a red straw today. I was so surprised, he usually asks for the blue straw. Wow!"

SERIOUSLY you guys, that was a real update. And people liked it. And this shit goes on and on ALL DAY. I can tolerate your ridiculously outdated political or religious viewpoints, but I don't give a good goddamn about your ugly child and that it burps in its sleep or has a face or whatever. Get a life.

[Vektor T. Gecko]

or has a face or whatever

aaaaahahaha!
Babies are the WORST.
(I'm sure some would disagree with me, however, given that the world population is ~7bn and growing)

[Rorschach]

I'm not sure that's down to love of procreation, but rather an indication of how poor the quality of television is these days.

[The Cid]

Would my life be in any way worse for deleting my Facebook account?

For one thing, the only interactions I ever have on Facebook are friends inviting me to things--which are almost always just blast e-mails inviting me to things I would have no reason to attend. More than that, I haven't really heard from anyone I hadn't heard from in a while because of Facebook. It's not like an old friend from middle school is suddenly getting in touch with me and I'm finding out how he's doing. No, it's pretty much just people I already see regularly.

Pretty much, I'm out on social media for any non-practical purpose such as promoting my columns (Twitter) or growing a professional network (LinkedIn). As it stands, my Facebook page is just going un-updated and filling space. Would it make sense for me to just put it out of its misery, or would that somehow make my friends upset?

[Deacon]

I don't know. I actually do communicate with old friends and former coworkers and even current friends I don't get to see that often, so...

[Rorschach]

But if you get rid of facebook, how on Earth cab you beat the dead attention-whore for as long as possible over something probably pretty trifling.

It's another thing that gets on my tits: people posting ambiguous emo nonsense in order to ensnare their equally vacuous
friends.

"I'm feeling blue..."
"ONO BABEZ! Whats up!"
"Ill tell you when i see you/I don't want to talkj about it"

Which are two good reasons not to post it to everyone in the whole wide world on facebook.

Remember when people's dirty linen was kept private? How I hanker for those days. When women called their husbands by their surname until their wedding night and any public display of emotion would result in a well-earned hanging.