Why can't life be simple?

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PVTHillbilly
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Re: Why can't life be simple?

Post by PVTHillbilly » Sun Sep 27, 2009 7:02 pm

Rorschach wrote:
PVTHillbilly wrote:I kinda made a deal with Erica's dad that I wouldn't ask for child support if he didn't ask to see her.
What a scumbag. I'll bet he was delighted with that deal.
my advice would probably be "kick him in the junk" which is my advice for everything anyways.
That's awful advice. Don't do that. I know that the modern woman thinks that there is no difference now between men and women and just because we act like assholes means that you can too, but don't. It'll lead to tears.

He was a scumbag, he was delighted with the deal, and i'm more than thankful that part of my life is now over.
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Re: Why can't life be simple?

Post by Myobi » Tue Sep 29, 2009 12:52 am

There are benefits to signing it (mind you, my experience is Texas).

1. In order to get out, in Texas at least, he has to pay a cash bond, which goes straight to you.
2. If he doesn't pay a cash bond and just stays in, once he's out/out on probation, the probation officer watching him can report the jobs immediately, getting the garnishment order there that much faster.
3. If he shows up to court for it, and has a job, he can show where he has a job.
4. There are places and programs to help those with criminal records get jobs.

There are cons, of course.

1. If he doesn't have the money for the cash bond, no money to you.
2. No money while he's in jail.
3. He can lie in court about where he has a job.

Now, there are options that he has. Usually those with warrants out on them (again, at least in Texas) aren't paying ANYTHING. They aren't showing any signs of trying to support the child at all. There are guys out there who don't have any work, but their unemployment is being garnished. They're sending in $25 a week. They're TRYING. If he isn't trying, I'd sign it. If you think he's putting in an honest effort to try to find a job so he can make payments, don't sign it. But realize that the field office has probably been taking other measures (delinquent letters, lump sum requests, questionnaires, license suspension, etc).

For now, call your field office and let them know the temp agency he's working at (He might not have let them know). Most agencies keep garnishment orders on file FOREVER. So if he has a job for a couple of weeks here, and then no job for a month, when he goes back, the order is still on file. They do this in order to combat the tendency some dead-beats have of working a job here and there in order to skip out on garnishment orders.

Personally, I'd sign the order, though. Good luck.

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Post by Makh » Thu Oct 01, 2009 8:29 pm

To me, your ex husband or boyfriend seems to be a parasite. But I can hardly have accurate judgement as I know nothing about this man, only impression. Perhaps he is only poor bastard who needs help in his life.

Thejerseyminx, you know more about circumstances than we do. You should not let people influence your choices in this matter, not even close friends or parents, because they are biased in your favor. If you want the best choice according to you, you take decision, you listen what your reason tells you to do.

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Re: Why can't life be simple?

Post by thejerseyminx » Thu Oct 01, 2009 11:58 pm

Thanks Mahk, that's actually one reason I posted here about it. Most people here aren't going to be biased in my favor simple because its me.
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Re: Why can't life be simple?

Post by Healer24 » Fri Oct 02, 2009 3:46 pm

tnitnetny wrote:
19. Can a person be arrested if a parent does not pay child support?

The "deadbeat dad" will then be taken to the County Jail. The court will set a purge amount. A purge amount is the amount of the child support arrearages that the "deadbeat dad" must pay in order to be released from jail.

The "deadbeat dad" will eventually be taken before the court for a "purge hearing." The court will not permit the defendant to be released until some of the child support arrearages can be paid. Moreover, the defendant must also propose a reasonable payment plan for the arrears.
Wow, that scares the shit out of me. Not because I am or ever intend to be a "deadbeat dad", but because they can throw you in jail and keep you there until you can pay your way out. If you had no money to pay child support in the first place, then how can you get that money in jail? I realize that it's probably designed as inducement to pay for people who have the money and refuse to fork it over, but it's still a frightening thing.
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Re: Why can't life be simple?

Post by Jezebel » Sat Oct 03, 2009 4:06 am

It's for "Deadbeats" meaning those that make NO effort AT ALL. It is not for a Dad that loses their job and has no money but goes to the court and explains things to them and proves that they are trying to find a job, etc. The system is not designed to screw people that fall on hard times and are doing the best that they can. That's not to say that it hasn't happened, ever, but I wouldn't be concerned.
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Re: Why can't life be simple?

Post by Healer24 » Sat Oct 03, 2009 2:48 pm

I know it's not designed for that, and yet the way it's worded could easily be that. I'm not really worried about it for myself as I'd have to become a father first... which would require a willing girl... which seems unlikely right now.
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Re: Why can't life be simple?

Post by thejerseyminx » Tue Jul 20, 2010 1:59 am

Necroposting my own thread.

I'd like some opinions, please.

I'm moving at the end of September if everything goes according to plan. The only thing that will be an issue would be Josh, should he try and stop me from moving Alannah away from here. According to our custody agreement, I have to give him 60 days notice via a certified letter with return receipt requested. On July 6th I sent that letter to the only "good" address I know for him, which is his mother's house. They attempted to deliver it on the 7th, and after 15th days of no claim it will be returned to me.

Should I make the effort to talk to him specifically about moving? His sisters have expressed an interest in seeing her the next time they are in the area, so should I tell them when we'll be leaving so they can try to visit?

I've refrained from making straight out mentions of this on sites where he can see it- but I don't think I will be doing that after I get the letter back. I'm not sure if legally I am required to make more of an effort to tell him that I'm moving.
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Re: Why can't life be simple?

Post by Deacon » Tue Jul 20, 2010 2:40 pm

Did you have a lawyer for the custody hearing? Call and ask. Otherwise I'd say you made a good faith effort to contact him and abide by the terms already defined. If he just has to be notified and doesn't have to actually sign something or whatever, you'll be fine.
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thejerseyminx
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Re: Why can't life be simple?

Post by thejerseyminx » Tue Jul 20, 2010 3:01 pm

I did, a friend of mine is a lawyer who represented me. He's been away for his niece's wedding. When he's back I'll try to get a hold of him.

Thank you for your opinion :)
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Re: Why can't life be simple?

Post by Johnny78 » Fri Jul 23, 2010 9:08 pm

Ah good old life, strikes you down when you least expect it.
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Re: Why can't life be simple?

Post by NotQuiteDead » Fri Jul 23, 2010 9:31 pm

Jezebel wrote:It's for "Deadbeats" meaning those that make NO effort AT ALL. It is not for a Dad that loses their job and has no money but goes to the court and explains things to them and proves that they are trying to find a job, etc. The system is not designed to screw people that fall on hard times and are doing the best that they can. That's not to say that it hasn't happened, ever, but I wouldn't be concerned.

I must disagree. North Carolina has the most ass-backwards child support program. I'm a non-custodial parent, and we get blamed for EVERYTHING. If the CSE sends paperwork to my employer late, it's my fault (even if I'm still paying). If I get laid off (which I am now) and still have CS taken out of my unemployment benefits (which I am), the amount is less than the required amount and it goes in arrears. It's complete bullshit.

Don't get me wrong--I want to do everything I can for my son--but the child support system needs to lay off those who genuinely WANT to be responsible but CAN'T, and go after the morons who can't keep it in their pants (or who don't want to pay the ferryman afterwards).
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thejerseyminx
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Re: Why can't life be simple?

Post by thejerseyminx » Fri Jul 23, 2010 11:08 pm

I think they need to plan for the lowest common denominator, unfortunately. You want to provide for your son but circumstances are stacked against you, but other people would say they're in the same boat to avoid having to pay. It sucks.
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Re: Why can't life be simple?

Post by Deacon » Sat Jul 24, 2010 7:39 am

Well, it's really only fair since the man has some say in whether the woman has taken her birth control pills regularly and on time and whether she has the baby and whether she stays married to the father.
The follies which a man regrets the most in his life are those which he didn't commit when he had the opportunity. - Helen Rowland, A Guide to Men, 1922

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Re: Why can't life be simple?

Post by thejerseyminx » Sat Jul 24, 2010 7:33 pm

Or puts a damn condom on, and doesn't take it off without telling the mother. And is honest about his intentions.

My situation- he said he wanted to be involved. I wouldn't have pushed the issue had he not said he wanted to be there.

My aunt and cousin's situation- My aunt was married to the man. He flirted in and out of my cousin's life for about 15 years before my cousin finally said screw this and stopped communicating. He's still responsible.
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