Rorschach's advice for wooing the ladies

Makh · Post by **Makh** » Sat Apr 16, 2005 5:32 am

[quote="Rorschach";p="481068"]7) Talk about your mother all night. Women love a mummy's boy. Lament the day you stopped breast-feeding, at eleven years old and ask if you can call her 'Mum/Mom/Godless foreign variation'[/quote]
On this, our culture is very different. I will never talk about my mother to a lady for hours, no, but the valor of mother in family is very important. Girls here do not like that a guy neglect his mother or when he says bad things about her like: "she is annoying". If you want to make good impression when a girl ask you: What did you do during weekend, just say something like: I helped my mother to repair her televizor/balcony/car/shed, etc.

AzraeL · Post by **AzraeL** » Sat Apr 16, 2005 5:45 am

naval_aviator_2040 wrote (View Post):
I just usually show them my cutlass and ask if they'd like to blow my bosun's (spelled boatswain's) pipe usually works pretty well

Creative, better than anything I've come up with, Bosun's Pipe.

I've always called it "The Captain's Coxswain" because afterall, it steers the ship, y'know? I did once ask a girl if she'd like to "Haul the Mainstay?"

And then there's the classy "I'd like to plunder YOUR booty."

are we trying to pick up on treasure island or something? whats with all the pirate sexual inuendo.....anyway heres my one....

naval_aviator_2040 · Post by **naval_aviator_2040** » Sat Apr 16, 2005 7:41 am

both Phong and I are US Naval Reserve Officer Training Corps Midshipmen and I am attending a Merchant Mariner's College so nautical nomenclature is a part of my everyday vernacular. and Liz, I actually did ask a girl if she wanted to blow my boatswain's pipe once.

daemon princess · Post by **daemon princess** » Sat Apr 16, 2005 8:32 am

Makh, it's sarcasm. It's basically a list of what not to do to get a date.

billf · Post by **billf** » Sat Apr 16, 2005 8:44 am

Rorschach forgot to mention knock knock jokes! Lots of knock knock jokes! Women love them, and if you're trying to woo a blonde woman some blonde oriented jokes will work wonders for you as well.

Phong · Post by **Phong** » Sat Apr 16, 2005 9:11 am

[quote="naval_aviator_2040";p="481269"]both Phong and I are US Naval Reserve Officer Training Corps Midshipmen and I am attending a Merchant Mariner's College so nautical nomenclature is a part of my everyday vernacular. and Liz, I actually did ask a girl if she wanted to blow my boatswain's pipe once.[/quote]

I really did ask a woman if she wanted to haul the mainstay, but in my defense, I was extremely drunk.

Phoenix Talon · Post by **Phoenix Talon** » Sat Apr 16, 2005 5:22 pm

That's what they ALL say, Phong.

Makh · Post by **Makh** » Sat Apr 16, 2005 7:34 pm

[quote="daemon princess";p="481306"]Makh, it's sarcasm. It's basically a list of what not to do to get a date.

[/quote]
It is precisely because I knew it was sarcasm that I said that my dear. The point 7 of Rorschach "suggest" that you should avoid to talk about your mother with a lady, while it is not necessarily a bad thing here. Of course, I clarified that you must not talk about her for hours, (this may be boring I agree) but to show that you take care of your mother is always good for a lady, it proves that you are a family oriented person and girls love that.

daemon princess · Post by **daemon princess** » Sat Apr 16, 2005 8:06 pm

Really? I've gone to school with quite a few Russian women and they certainly weren't so strange. Maybe that's why they came to Sweden!

Phong · Post by **Phong** » Sat Apr 16, 2005 8:34 pm

[quote="daemon princess";p="481414"]Really? I've gone to school with quite a few Russian women and they certainly weren't so strange. Maybe that's why they came to Sweden![/quote]

Maybe they're spies. Russia's always wanted to conquer Sweden.

BtEO · Post by **BtEO** » Sat Apr 16, 2005 9:24 pm

"When it comes to compliments women are revenous, blood-sucking monsters always wanting more, more, more!..."

"... And if you give it to them, you'll get plenty back in return."

Makh · Post by **Makh** » Sat Apr 16, 2005 9:45 pm

[quote="daemon princess";p="481414"]Really? I've gone to school with quite a few Russian women and they certainly weren't so strange. Maybe that's why they came to Sweden![/quote]
Hahaha there are many reason for them to come in Sweden daemon princess.

Strange ? No. Only different. But for sure, the values of family in Russia is something that is disappearing with capitalism. I left home when I was 22, I am not what you call a "mummy's boy", but you know, mothers like to see her son from time to time, especially if those mothers are old and living alone. What is worse now, is the state does not give a damn about old women, must of them does not have allocation anymore. Hmm I think I am off topic, sorry.

[quote="Phong";p="481429"]Maybe they're spies. Russia's always wanted to conquer Sweden.[/quote]
Not only Sweden my friend

Phong · Post by **Phong** » Sat Apr 16, 2005 10:15 pm

[quote="Phong";p="481429"]Maybe they're spies. Russia's always wanted to conquer Sweden.

Not only Sweden my friend

[/quote]

Well we know you want the world my friend, but you've always SPECIFICALLY wanted Sweden.

Rorschach · Post by **Rorschach** » Sun Apr 17, 2005 9:08 am

Seeing as how Liz has thrown down a scented gauntlet:

9) The word 'cunt'. Don't let women fool you, they like it. It excites them. Don't bother with this cutesey nonsense the media would have you believe. In bed when your amore asks you what you want, a simple 'To shove my dick right up your cunt' will have her champing at the bit. Also, try and work it into your wedding vows. 'Do you, Rorschach, take Emma Bunton as your lawfully wedded wife?' 'You're cunting right I do'

10) Brushing your teeth before sex is for wimps. Women love to taste what you've ate and drank all day

11) Speaking of drinking. You can never drink too much. Particularly when her family are involved. Bond with her father in a manly way, a salacious wink and the slurred confession, in what you think is a whisper, that you've been granted a 'back-stage pass' with his daughter. And that her mother, his wife, features largely in your sexual fantasies

12) Rodeo shag. You don't do this enough

13) 'Pussy'. See point 9)

14) Humourous endearments are appreciated by le ragazze. Particularly in front of your mutual friends. 'Where's ruinedmylife with my tea?', 'What's wrong with it, why's it crying in the bathroom?', 'I think we can all agree that that screeching harpy fuckwit put on a grand spread there'. She'll thank you for it later.

15) Women like Mills and Boon books, frothy romantic comedy movies and chocolates. And that's all they like. When buying gifts, bear this in mind

Go forth and be fruitful!

Deacon · Post by **Deacon** » Sun Apr 17, 2005 2:52 pm

[quote="Rorschach";p="481732"]'You're cunting right I do'[/quote]
That is indeed a beautiful expression of sincere sentiment. But for some reason I just had Shaun of the Dead flash by my mind...

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