Some helpful tips for new users

Getting to know all about you... Introductions? Looking to meet up with fellow forumites in your area? Not in your area? For all of these, this is the place to go.
User avatar
Prospero
FKA Glue, The Other White Liquid
Posts: 3630
Joined: Sat Feb 15, 2003 9:53 pm
Gender: Male
Location: Island

Some helpful tips for new users

Post by Prospero » Mon Sep 29, 2003 5:24 pm

Introducing yourself to a group can be an awkward and sometimes hard task. If you don't have the ability to jump right in, you may want to post a little 'hello' first. This is probably why you are here. With the huge influx of new forum goers and the amount of introduction threads here, I have composed a short list of what to (and what not to) include in your short introductory thread to make it 'stand out' and seem more interesting.

1. Think of a witty title. This should be the most obvious. A title is the main component of any literary piece, be it a post or a book, it attracts an audience. For example, which would attract your attention: 'A Modest Hello for Modest People' or 'shy n00b alert'? The worst thread title is the most commonly used one. Don't use it.

2. Tell something about yourself. Granted, you don't have to give out anything you don't want to, but tell us something about yourself that mind sound interesting, original, bizarre, or what-have-you. Why are you here? What are your interests? What are you like? These are some questions you may want to answer.

3. Do not ramble about nothing. Don't start taking about a refrigerator locked in your basement and toasters dropping into your bathtub. It doesn't make sense. And it sure doesn't tell anything about you.

4. Be respectful. This is pretty much common sense. I guarantee that it will help you integrate into the community. Everyone likes to be respected. Don't you?

And those are all the tips I can think of at the moment. If anyone else has any, feel free to add them.

[quote="Seir";p="289065"]On a related note, if you end up going to the IRC channel as well, please remember that the same rules regarding courtesy apply. Don't act like you're a gift to the channel. If you want respect, give respect.

Another thing, if I may add, don't be a damn Toadie. We have enough trolls on the forum, and we don't need some neophyte tagging along on their coattails thinking that this'll get them popular or respected just as fast.[/quote]

Edit: Updated thread title to be more descriptive given the slight repurposing of the forum. -- Martin
Last edited by Prospero on Fri Feb 27, 2004 5:40 pm, edited 1 time in total.

User avatar
Calus
Crazy Person
Posts: 6213
Joined: Sat Feb 15, 2003 3:42 am
Gender: Male
Location: Norwich, CT
Contact:

Post by Calus » Mon Sep 29, 2003 5:35 pm

Following these tips is a good idea and would lead to less pain.

Oh, and don't fight the Haze all it does is make us want more blood.
Edward "Snugglepants" Van Helgen: What! You shot my banjo!

"Do I hear voices? I guess so. I don't worry though, because I have learned to ignore them. They keep telling me the Cubs will win the World Series." Calus

User avatar
Prospero
FKA Glue, The Other White Liquid
Posts: 3630
Joined: Sat Feb 15, 2003 9:53 pm
Gender: Male
Location: Island

Post by Prospero » Mon Sep 29, 2003 5:47 pm

Oh yes, one more thing:

If you want your newbie thread to stay Calus-free, use Anti-Calus cream. :wink:

User avatar
Fixer
Crazy Person
Posts: 6608
Joined: Fri Feb 14, 2003 2:27 pm
Real Name: David Foster
Gender: Male
Contact:

Post by Fixer » Mon Sep 29, 2003 6:10 pm

Aha, a place to post it again! MUHAHAHAHHAHA!!!!

You have found yourself in the chaotic conglomeration of thought known as the Real Life Forums. A few things you want to take note of:
  • Read the Rules for the Forum. Violate them and earn the wrath of our Administrators, Moderators, and most of our users. We all play by the rules so this place is fun to stick around. Failure is not an option.
  • As a newbie, expect to be bitten. A great deal. In fact, right now. *Fixer bites the newbie.
  • Intelligent discussion is encouraged. Online references in a debate are wonderful. Flaming and baseless acusations (commonly referred to as 'being stupid') will get you insulted, derided, and probably laughed at. We have people who live to insult people 'being stupid'. Hope to never attract their attention.
  • If someone offers you a tentacle. Politely refuse and run the other way. Do not ask for an explanation, you will never survive to hear it.
  • Your shoesize is the combination to the lock on your soul. Guard it with your life if you value it. If you do not, PM it to me and I will put a mechanic's lien on it so at least it cannot be sold off later.
  • This is not a place to pick up men or women. If you are trying to do so, we will laugh at your pathetic attempts and destroy what little ego you possess while stepping on your heart. If you should happen to get lucky by being on here, consider it a gift from God (locally known as Martin Blank).
  • People have a particular fondness for this smiley: :lol: . Use it as often as possible, especially when speaking to Imperator Severn. It will turn him on.
  • Crystal Pepsi is often offered to newcomers. Accept it with grace and if you do not like the taste, dump it out when people aren't looking. That's what I do. Except today which is amlthrawn's birthday. Do not do it today.
  • If you have an ego, kiss it goodbye. Display it proudly and people will shoot it so full of holes you could slice it and call it swiss cheese.
  • Above All: Respect will get you farther than anything else you could do. Forget this and burn.
This has been a public service announcement from Fixer's Garage. Fixing lives since 1972, now open with the same old management. Tip your mechanic, they pack heat.
Image
I don't care who's right, who's wrong, or what you meant to say. Only thing I care about is the Truth. If you have it, good, share it. If not, find it. If you want to argue, do it with someone else.

User avatar
Calus
Crazy Person
Posts: 6213
Joined: Sat Feb 15, 2003 3:42 am
Gender: Male
Location: Norwich, CT
Contact:

Re: Some helpful tips

Post by Calus » Mon Sep 29, 2003 7:35 pm

Martin is Admin.
Admin is the janitor, the cop, the mayor, the judge and sometimes even the forum doctor who tends to Warriors injured in battle - in other words, Nanny on steroids. Because he runs the forum and sets the rules Admin has the power to pull the plug on any Warrior who gets a little too frisky. Sometimes his efforts are appreciated, but like any authority figure he is also resented - especially by Jerk, Evil Clown, L'Enfant Provocateur, Ego, Rebel Without a Clue, Yuk Yuk, Troller, and other Warriors who would like to turn the forum into their personal playground. Most Admins are generally fair and even handed, but the adage that absolute power corrupts absolutely is as true on the internet as it is anywhere else, and it is a rare Admin who can resist bringing the hammer down if seriously pressed by a determined foe. Sycophant and other suckups will also attach themselves to a strong Admin to form a defensive perimeter around him, and more often than not Admin's enemies will be driven off without him ever having to brandish his ax. CAUTION: Admin is the most powerful of all Warriors and drawing him into direct battle invites almost certain defeat.
And n00bs will start reading THE RULES!
Edward "Snugglepants" Van Helgen: What! You shot my banjo!

"Do I hear voices? I guess so. I don't worry though, because I have learned to ignore them. They keep telling me the Cubs will win the World Series." Calus

User avatar
Rorschach
Crazy Person
Posts: 17518
Joined: Tue Feb 18, 2003 7:35 am
Gender: Male
Location: Glasgow, Scotland

Post by Rorschach » Thu Oct 09, 2003 1:39 pm

Punt!
To Let

User avatar
amlthrawn
Sith Lord
Sith Lord
Posts: 4830
Joined: Thu Jun 26, 2003 1:15 pm
Real Name: teh aml
Gender: Male
Location: Des Plaines, IL

Post by amlthrawn » Thu Oct 09, 2003 3:40 pm

/me returns punt for.... TOUCHDOWN!

And n00bs, take this to heart.
- We were never being boring. We had too much time to find for ourselves.

User avatar
Grumlen
Crazy Person
Posts: 3122
Joined: Tue Feb 18, 2003 6:35 pm
Location: *points at his feet* Here
Contact:

Post by Grumlen » Sun Oct 12, 2003 3:14 am

Also worth noting is the fact that, even though we may not care too much for them, we will side will fellow forumites before we side with a newbie. This even extends to the Just-Us League. I suggest that you look up this usergroup and learn to show abnormal amounts of respect for these people. They will burn you alive otherwise. Heck, they even ridicule the other forumites if given the opportunity. I like to think of them as sharks.
"I'll have to confess, Mr. Chairman, that I am also a video game player. I have worked my way up to Civilization IV. I haven't yet been able to beat it but I at least understand the fundamentals of it." - Texas Representative Joe Barton

User avatar
Fixer
Crazy Person
Posts: 6608
Joined: Fri Feb 14, 2003 2:27 pm
Real Name: David Foster
Gender: Male
Contact:

Post by Fixer » Fri Oct 17, 2003 1:36 pm

A new point to bring up to n00bs who post in here as this is becoming commonplace.

This is an introductory post section. This is where you introduce yourself to everyone else. If you just say "Hi", expect ridicule from everyone. "Hi" is not an introduction. "Hi" is a word. An introduction is where you say something about yourself we might actually be interested in. If you say nothing of value, expect flamage and abuse.

Something I just read in one of the newbie posts that I feel should be added here.

[quote="dwin";p="185179"]Surgeon General's Warning:
The use of Real Life Forums (RLF) has been linked to severe bouts of nausia, vomiting, hives, impotence, social disorder, and in some cases, the involuntary desire to smack n00bs with a dead fish. Addiction to RLF has be shown to lead to other addictions, including, but not limited to: computer games, internet usage, anime and web comics. In all studies RLF users tested positive for high levels of geekiness and nerdiness. Use of RLF is not recomended by anyone currently taking the following drugs: asparin, tylenol, ritalin, placebo, water, and air. Do not use RLF if you are pregnant or may become pregnant. Actually, if you have a chance of procreation period you're probably in the wrong place.[/quote]
Image
I don't care who's right, who's wrong, or what you meant to say. Only thing I care about is the Truth. If you have it, good, share it. If not, find it. If you want to argue, do it with someone else.

User avatar
Calus
Crazy Person
Posts: 6213
Joined: Sat Feb 15, 2003 3:42 am
Gender: Male
Location: Norwich, CT
Contact:

Re: Some helpful tips

Post by Calus » Fri Oct 17, 2003 2:05 pm

Last edited by Calus on Fri Oct 17, 2003 2:23 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Edward "Snugglepants" Van Helgen: What! You shot my banjo!

"Do I hear voices? I guess so. I don't worry though, because I have learned to ignore them. They keep telling me the Cubs will win the World Series." Calus

User avatar
Fixer
Crazy Person
Posts: 6608
Joined: Fri Feb 14, 2003 2:27 pm
Real Name: David Foster
Gender: Male
Contact:

Post by Fixer » Fri Oct 17, 2003 2:10 pm

Yeah, you forgot Mandor & Soth. *snicker*
Image
I don't care who's right, who's wrong, or what you meant to say. Only thing I care about is the Truth. If you have it, good, share it. If not, find it. If you want to argue, do it with someone else.

User avatar
Sir Spankspeople
Crazy Person
Posts: 4017
Joined: Fri Feb 14, 2003 11:42 am
Location: Charlottetown, PEI
Contact:

Post by Sir Spankspeople » Fri Oct 17, 2003 3:52 pm

Hmm... never really payed attention to this forum before.. now I see why more n00bs don't end up in the other forums... most of them seem to just get themselves flamed out of existance by the frequenters here.

This could be fairly easily avoided if newbies would just remember one thing: THIS IS NOT YOUR FORUM. There is a well established community here with its own set of rules, sense of what is right and wrong, and there are people who enforce these rules. This is THEIR forum, not yours. You are new, you do not know how the system works, and if you make no attempt to learn you will be ridiculed and will eventually leave in an overdramatic whining fit.

As a newbie, you know nothing whatsoever about this place, and as such you should not be assuming that you can act any way that you can. It's best to be go as quietly and unnoticed as possible until people begin to treat you like you are supposed to be there. Doing any differently will almost certainly get you shouted at.

The best thing to do is just come in and sit back for a while. Read various posts, get a feel for who you will be talking to before you start, then just casually integrate yourself into the group. Don't bother with a "Hi I'm new!" thread, as it will only lead to people noticing that you are new, and they will treat you as such. The best thing you can ever do in a forum(or a chat room) is to have people just accept your posts as being there without even noticing exactly where they started coming from. Of course they may not have seen you before and will assume that you are new, but if you can manage to have them treat you as if you're supposed to be there, you've done a good job of integrating into the forum.

I haven't been called a newbie since some time in 1997... and I've gone through quite a number of forums and chatrooms since then. I registered here in December, and I've not been called a newbie(seriously) yet. Though I may be breaking my own rules by saying that...

Though most people online these days couldn't do it if they tried... too many are so full of themselves that nothing else matters but their opinion, and anybody who tries to tell them differently is wrong wrong wrong... which is why we have this forum. We can either destroy the newbies egos, or chase them out.

Remember: We like new members, but we don't really want you specifically. As you can see, there are dozens of new people who show up every day, and sometimes at least one of them manages to get past themselves and integrate into the forum fairly well(haven't seen many people do it seamlessly though), so if you have a problem with the way the forum works, don't be here. There's plenty more where you came from.

Umm, don't mind me... I'm rambling again...
Image
Inflammatory signatures hurt us all...

User avatar
amlthrawn
Sith Lord
Sith Lord
Posts: 4830
Joined: Thu Jun 26, 2003 1:15 pm
Real Name: teh aml
Gender: Male
Location: Des Plaines, IL

Post by amlthrawn » Fri Oct 17, 2003 3:52 pm

- We were never being boring. We had too much time to find for ourselves.

User avatar
Fixer
Crazy Person
Posts: 6608
Joined: Fri Feb 14, 2003 2:27 pm
Real Name: David Foster
Gender: Male
Contact:

Post by Fixer » Fri Oct 17, 2003 4:34 pm

Pretty close, but we are bordering on changing this from useful to n00bs to turning it into a game or something. Best to stop while the stopping is good.

Perhaps creating something in Games to nominate your favorite (or unfavorite) forum goer for a given title or something.
Image
I don't care who's right, who's wrong, or what you meant to say. Only thing I care about is the Truth. If you have it, good, share it. If not, find it. If you want to argue, do it with someone else.

User avatar
Calus
Crazy Person
Posts: 6213
Joined: Sat Feb 15, 2003 3:42 am
Gender: Male
Location: Norwich, CT
Contact:

Re: Some helpful tips

Post by Calus » Fri Oct 17, 2003 5:01 pm

Edward "Snugglepants" Van Helgen: What! You shot my banjo!

"Do I hear voices? I guess so. I don't worry though, because I have learned to ignore them. They keep telling me the Cubs will win the World Series." Calus

Post Reply

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests