Old here

Getting to know all about you... Introductions? Looking to meet up with fellow forumites in your area? Not in your area? For all of these, this is the place to go.
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Dreamer
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Old here

Post by Dreamer » Wed Nov 04, 2015 2:58 pm

Hi! My name is Neil. I'll go by "Dreamer" though. I've been on the forums (occasionally trolling and occasional avidly posting) for about 12 years...

I read back to some of my original posts and I have definitely changed a lot in those 12 years.

So maybe a re-introduction wouldn’t hurt.

I came to this comic because it was linked somewhere. Idon’t remember at all where. But it was something to do with Halo, I swear. Something about the Warthog or fragging. If you know which one I'm talking about, you have to tell me!

My interests are still gaming. I enjoy craft beers, video and board gaming, and pub trivia. I think I said one of my interests was my fiancée before. That's still true. But it's a different fiancée now.

The last girl is married to one of my groomsmen now! Very Jerry Springer, right?

Well, I live in Austin, Texas. I love it here. I have a house and 4 cats with my fiancée, Katie. We'll just call her Katie-bug.

I didn't set out to have 4 cats. I had two. She had two. And sometimes it just happens. I guess I'm a cat person. I love dogs. I just prefer cats in the house.

I work at a bank in mortgages. Essentially I'm an underwriter.

Katie and I are getting married on April 9th and I'm pretty excited about it. She's quite a girl. Meeting peopel at 39 is WAY different than meeting people at 26-27 (when I first joined this board).

Anyway, nice to meet you all for the first time, again!
My sig would have contained the secret of life, but I'd already clicked submit.

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Rorschach
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Re: Old here

Post by Rorschach » Wed Nov 04, 2015 7:55 pm

Nice.

We need a 're-getting yo know you' forum.

I knew quite a lot of that, but it's nice to be able to fill the gaps. I'm happy things are working out for you. I have a friend who's single at forty and it he certainly finds finding relationships difficult.

So. Yeah. :)
To Let

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Deacon
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Re: Old here

Post by Deacon » Wed Nov 04, 2015 8:17 pm

I turn 35 next week. Still never married. Had a great thing going with an "older" woman (36) for a bit. Hard to find attractive, intelligent, fun people who I like a lot and who like me. However, I'm one of those apparently rare people who aren't desperate to find someone, anyone, who'll be with me, and I otherwise lead a fairly enjoyable and fulfilling life. That is both helpful as well as hurtful, as it makes it difficult to "lower standards" or "settle" as it feels like many do.

That I'm hitting 35 and in this position certainly isn't increasing my odds of finding Ms. Right, even if I weren't further out in the country, working from home, and living a slightly hermit-style life. I wouldn't trade it, but it doesn't increase those odds, either. Finding Ms. Right without lots and lots of shitty relationship/divorce baggage, without a bunch of asshole kids already, and still of an age to want and have kids... It makes it difficult.
The follies which a man regrets the most in his life are those which he didn't commit when he had the opportunity. - Helen Rowland, A Guide to Men, 1922

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Dreamer
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Re: Old here

Post by Dreamer » Thu Nov 05, 2015 2:48 pm

Deac, you met my ex-wife. I won't lie. She was pretty.
Okay, fine. She was pretty hot. Tall, big cans... Whatever.
She cheated on me at least twice. the first time I put a key logger on our computer to find out the new password to her e-mail. Then found all of her e-mails. They were writing about how they had us all "snowballed" (she wasn't good with colloquial metaphors) and they were looking at houses.
We owned a house together at the time!
So I confronted her with the e-mails and told her my demands if she wanted to stay in the relationship:
I would dictate the letter she'd write to her "lover" (for lack of a better term). And we could work through the next steps only if she wrote that exact letter and gave me access to everything she had. And she did that.
I can’t lie… It was pretty rough.
I don’t wish that on anyone.
I mean rough on ME. I don't care about her. She made the bed, it's hers to sleep in. But the guy revealed a lot of things she'd said about me. Apparently I was abusive. I hit her with a door and such... He threatened me plenty… And it was a tumultuous time. With a lot of threats.
And hey, this is the internet. So no one is obligated to believe me when I say all or none of that was true. Take from it what you will.
Anyway, I also insisted she admit the affair to our friends and family. These are actually pretty specific parts of recovery from an affair. Requirements. She admitted to everything. But then couldn't take it anymore, I guess. So we moved to Austin.
Eric, that's when you met us, obviously. Blah blah, already long story made shorter. She went on a road trip to Michigan/Ohio. Slept with a friend of hers (who was also a groomsman of mine) and now she's married to him with a(n ugly) kid.
But the best part of the story? I wouldn’t be here were it not for all of that.
I wouldn't have met Katie. Period.
Bottom line... To quote:
You know, there's a million fine looking women in the world, dude. But they don't all bring you lasagna at work. Most of 'em just cheat on you.
- Silent Bob
I could hardly put it better. The secret is to get yourself to the puppet show, ya know? See the strings. Go to Disney World and watch Mickey Mouse take his mask off. See that most of it’s all smoke and mirrors.
And then? Then find the person that's not.
/preach
My sig would have contained the secret of life, but I'd already clicked submit.

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Dreamer
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Re: Old here

Post by Dreamer » Thu Nov 05, 2015 3:26 pm

OH, and Rors, I like that idea. No one can tell how logn the forums will last. But it would be neat to see what everyone's been up to for the last dozen years.

Someone find Fixer or Blaze. Or... Who else hasn't been here a while? Smointe? billf?

Wow, my head almost hurts to imagine it. Wasnt' there some chick with a name that had something to do with a cheetah?
My sig would have contained the secret of life, but I'd already clicked submit.

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FirebirdNC
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Re: Old here

Post by FirebirdNC » Thu Nov 05, 2015 4:52 pm

Eric you shouldn't compromise what you are looking for in a relationship, as long as you are aware that no one is perfect and your standards may exclude any possibilities. My husband and I are both on our second marriage and have been married for 10 and together for 12. He was cheated on in his first marriage and my ex was searching for something that wasn't me (you can't meet someone in the army and then think they are going to be a happy stay at home wife). Anyway if we hadn't been through those things we wouldn't appreciate each other as much for who we are and know the price of not being honest with yourself and your partner. I don't agree with the "giving someone access to everything you have" everyone deserves some level of privacy and if you can't trust someone without continually checking on them then you might as well move on, plus as the saying goes "where there is a will there is a way". Sorry Dreamer I didn't meant to hijack you here haha. Thanks for the info I admit I am terrible about remembering peoples details.
~Insert clever bon mot here~

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Dreamer
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Re: Old here

Post by Dreamer » Thu Nov 05, 2015 5:27 pm

Awww, FNC... You're just being contrary because I hit on your sister. :)
My sig would have contained the secret of life, but I'd already clicked submit.

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Deacon
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Re: Old here

Post by Deacon » Fri Nov 06, 2015 2:40 pm

Haha you're both right, of course. As we move forward in life we're always better equipped to appreciate the good things. And honestly, lest I make it sound more high minded than it is, it's really more a question if I can't be bothered if I'm not into the person. And I'm not into many people, much less women, romantically. I know lots of great women, but that doesn't mean I *want* them, which probably sucks for all of us.
The follies which a man regrets the most in his life are those which he didn't commit when he had the opportunity. - Helen Rowland, A Guide to Men, 1922

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Rorschach
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Re: Old here

Post by Rorschach » Fri Nov 06, 2015 3:36 pm

Dating in Scotland goes like this:

You get drunk.
You meet someone.
You go out with them for some weeks or months and get drunk together.
By the time you both sober up, you're a couple. I think I had moved in with Nicola before either of us really gave it a thought.

At that point, the problems may start to emerge: incompatibility for whatever reason, but by that point hopefully they have enough in the 'pro' column that the good outweighs the bad or at least to a level you can live with.

I also have to routinely remind myself that for all my carping to myself, my wife could probably find a new partner or equal of higher value more easily than I could. I just hope she never realises that. :p
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Deacon
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Re: Old here

Post by Deacon » Fri Nov 06, 2015 9:57 pm

Heh, is it too much to ask to mean the world to someone? ;)
The follies which a man regrets the most in his life are those which he didn't commit when he had the opportunity. - Helen Rowland, A Guide to Men, 1922

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FirebirdNC
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Re: Old here

Post by FirebirdNC » Sat Nov 07, 2015 3:21 am

Deacon wrote:Heh, is it too much to ask to mean the world to someone? ;)
No, as long as you are willing to make them the center of your universe as well.
~Insert clever bon mot here~

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Deacon
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Re: Old here

Post by Deacon » Sun Nov 08, 2015 2:32 pm

Well yeah...
The follies which a man regrets the most in his life are those which he didn't commit when he had the opportunity. - Helen Rowland, A Guide to Men, 1922

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FirebirdNC
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Re: Old here

Post by FirebirdNC » Sun Nov 08, 2015 2:57 pm

Deacon wrote:Well yeah...
You say that like it is obvious and anyone would realize that, but you would be wrong.
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Deacon
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Re: Old here

Post by Deacon » Mon Nov 09, 2015 11:21 pm

Yes, people are generally dumb.
The follies which a man regrets the most in his life are those which he didn't commit when he had the opportunity. - Helen Rowland, A Guide to Men, 1922

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Dreamer
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Re: Old here

Post by Dreamer » Thu Nov 12, 2015 6:01 pm

OKAY!

Okay...

ENOUGH!

This is my thread.

Deac? GET YOUR OWN!

:)

Anyway, that said:

I also think it's important to remember this one thing. I remind myself of this often...:
Smooth seas don't make good sailors.
If someone's doing well but has had everything handed to him/her... Well... Well they're simply not as prepared as we are. That's it.

Also (like 'em or not) I recommend binge listening to "Shake it Off" by Florence + The Machine.

But...
Okay, I can't stress this enough...
Be prepared to literally...FUCKING PUNCH THE FUCKING SKY in blatant defiance of life's incessant bullshit.

Like Judd Nelson at the end of The Breakfast Club.

Goddammit I love that fucking movie. So much.
My sig would have contained the secret of life, but I'd already clicked submit.

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