Imperator Turkmenbashi Severus

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Imperator Severn
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Imperator Turkmenbashi Severus

Post by Imperator Severn » Fri Feb 14, 2003 9:07 pm

It all started so simply. In December of 2000, a boy named Dan Severn pulled out his copy of Cutthroats, pulled up the website, and posted a technical question in the CT forum.

Before long, he had become a pyrate. He never posted anywhere but CT.

Then, late one night in January '01, he strayed to other Eidos boards. He noticed that the common d'ohs (Commandos) were planning a raid on CT. His chest swelled with patriotism, and he flew into the fray. His preemptive strike was soon joined by a veritable horde of raging, pillaging cutthroats! A few common d'ohs tried to put up a resistance, but it was hopeless. Spetsnaz/J-23 was banished to the cold depths of outer space, and the remnants of his once powerful forum left in a great diaspora that would bring new life to commandosthefortress.com But the Eidos board was dead, most of its original members never to return. Severn took up residence there, enjoying the lack of those other people who so annoyed him. In his final surrender, Spetsnazi had given Severn the title of board emperor after an energetic bout of arm-twisting.

Well, Severn figured that Dan was far too common a name for an emperor, so he looked to history, and found the name IMPERATOR CAESAR LVCIVS SEPTIMIVS SEVERVS PIVS PERTINAX AVGVSTVS or Imperator Severn for short.

He left for a few months, and was devastated to find that a crop of newbies (had he known the term n00bs, they would certainly have fit that description) had popped up in the salted plains of Eidos. THey had no respect for the Purple, as the common d'ohs still had.

Dejected and deeply saddened by the loss of his empire, he came to Eidos General Forum. There he filled the heads of morons with useless knowledge, even after the CT port was destroyed and sank into the sea. He posted under many names; j7 not-so-wild-anymore (j7 wild was an idiot) Imperator Severn, Jack Rabbid, and Max Immelmann, to name a few. Eventually, he was banned by an idiot to whom he was cruel who grew up to be moderator. He returned to the new CT port at STSTS, vowing never to return, except in the case of a raid. As CT slowly died away, he tried other ports. Apolyton, Ellaybe Island, C-dawgs, all to no avail. Finally, providence struck, and he found Real Life. Now he's here to annoy ye all! HHHhhhaaaaarrrrr!!!!

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Baron Von Waffle
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Post by Baron Von Waffle » Fri Feb 14, 2003 9:20 pm

Is Baron better than Emporer? It should be if it ins't!:mrgreen:

anyways, here's my story

It was a dark and stormy night on the country roads of eastern Europe. A little gypsy boy is tossed from the back of his wagon as a bolt of lightning causes the horses to jolt in fear. He finds a welcoming family of duckbilled platypuses which takes him in as their own. When he grew older he realized that he wasn't like other duck-billed platypuses. He had no bill, no web-feet, and his mating technique just didn't impress the ladies. Leaving the only family he knew, he journeyed through the forest in search a place where he could find people like himself.
*a long, boring narrative later*

And so, having defeated the three headed ninja, he rightfully earned the title "Queen of England", which he soon traded to a wandering shrubber for the title "Baron Von Waffle" and half a peanut butter sandwich.
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Shadow Walker
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Post by Shadow Walker » Fri Feb 14, 2003 9:29 pm

YOu are all insane....
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Baron Von Waffle
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Post by Baron Von Waffle » Fri Feb 14, 2003 9:32 pm

No, you're just out-sane!! We're fine...
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Saurenath
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Post by Saurenath » Fri Feb 14, 2003 9:32 pm

No it shouldnt, your on crack.

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Imperator Severn
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Post by Imperator Severn » Fri Feb 14, 2003 9:48 pm

Thank'ee kindly. I's as insane as uhhh an insane person!
¡Mueran todos los reyes!
The Warrior Dennis Miller
Backed by the Powers of Saparmurat Niyazov
Meaner than nine Panthers in a bear suit.
Member LCA

[quote:7e32f6a2eb="spoon";p="376712"]Hey, I'm not pastey white anymore. You can almost call me sort of light beige-ish![/quote]

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