LPT

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Dreamer
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LPT

Post by Dreamer » Wed Feb 10, 2016 7:11 pm

Quick life pro tip:

Don't want you co-workers to see you eating an entire 18 inch sub for lunch?

Ask the restaurant to cut it into thirds and wrap them all separately.

Eat a third. And then when no one is looking, unwrap the next section.

If you do it right it looks like you're eating only one tiny 6 inch sub really slowly and responsibly!

Bonus?

The guy who took your order will think you're ordering for 3 normal sized people, and not just your single fat ass!

Now take that advice and go. No thanks necessary.
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Mav
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Re: LPT

Post by Mav » Wed Feb 10, 2016 10:57 pm

Pro-tip:

Order the 18 inch sub for lunch.

When your coworker looks at you funny, shout "I DO WHAT I WANT" and slap them across the face with your huge, phallic sandwich.

Bonus?

Your coworkers will begin submitting to your orders out of fear and conditioning, you're now management material!
Arc_Orion wrote:<Arc_Orion> Mav is like a very interestingly informed six year old.

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Dreamer
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Re: LPT

Post by Dreamer » Wed Feb 10, 2016 11:05 pm

Not to sound like too much of a Hufflepuff...

But I feel like the fillings would fall out...
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Rorschach
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Re: LPT

Post by Rorschach » Thu Feb 11, 2016 7:18 am

Mav's filling always comes out when he's slapping his co-workers across the face with his hugs phallic 'sandwich'.
This is a good tip although it does make me wonder how many people in your office are doing the same thing. We should all come out. Lunch-wise.
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Dreamer
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Re: LPT

Post by Dreamer » Thu Feb 11, 2016 7:00 pm

Ugh... Fine...

My name is Neil.

I ate an 18 inch Philly style sub from "Firehouse" yesterday.

And I had them cut it into thirds (and wrap them separately) for one reason:

So I didn't have to look an 18 inch sub in they eye on my my desk.

And, I won't lie... I briefly considered asking for no onions on one of those thirds. Just to perpetuate the lie.

AND I LOVE ONIONS!!!!!

Are you happy Rors????

I LOVE ONIONS!!!

*weeps*

...are you happy???
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Deacon
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Re: LPT

Post by Deacon » Thu Feb 11, 2016 11:37 pm

Jesus you eat 18" worth of onion-covered sub for lunch on a work day in the office? I bet your coworkers love you.
The follies which a man regrets the most in his life are those which he didn't commit when he had the opportunity. - Helen Rowland, A Guide to Men, 1922

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Dreamer
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Re: LPT

Post by Dreamer » Fri Feb 12, 2016 12:31 am

Not as a rule, no.

I like to say I'm cutting carbs.

Into thirds.

to avoid suspicion.

See what I did there?

I've still got it...
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FirebirdNC
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Re: LPT

Post by FirebirdNC » Fri Feb 12, 2016 3:06 am

Mav wrote:Pro-tip:

Order the 18 inch sub for lunch.

When your coworker looks at you funny, shout "I DO WHAT I WANT" and slap them across the face with your huge, phallic sandwich.

Bonus?

Your coworkers will begin submitting to your orders out of fear and conditioning, you're now management material!
I'm going to second this, if this fails you can also dry mount them.
~Insert clever bon mot here~

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Rorschach
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Re: LPT

Post by Rorschach » Fri Feb 12, 2016 7:23 am

And that was the day I lost my job at the women's refuge. :(
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Dreamer
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Re: LPT

Post by Dreamer » Fri Feb 12, 2016 3:02 pm

I see what you did there.
*rimshot*
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gravity
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Re: LPT

Post by gravity » Sun Feb 14, 2016 7:01 am

Goddamitalltohell, now I want a sandwich.
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Rorschach
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Re: LPT

Post by Rorschach » Mon Feb 15, 2016 10:41 am

gravity wrote:Goddamitalltohell, now I want a sandwich.
Well, you know where the kitchen is, don't you? And while you're at it, make me one. [/HTRN]

In tribute to Dreamer, I bought a Subway for lunch this morning. In testament to the fact that I'm a little woofter, it was only a 6" though.
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raptor9k
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Re: LPT

Post by raptor9k » Mon Feb 15, 2016 3:14 pm

I miss HTRN's contributions to the gun thread...

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Rorschach
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Re: LPT

Post by Rorschach » Tue Feb 16, 2016 12:45 pm

And we never got to know what the 'H' stood for. I'm going to guess 'Hank'.
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Rorschach
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Re: LPT

Post by Rorschach » Tue Feb 16, 2016 12:45 pm

Or he's a hologram.
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