Ohhhh it Burns!

Talk about whatever you feel like.
User avatar
FirebirdNC
Mad Hatteras
Posts: 1959
Joined: Tue Feb 13, 2007 3:00 pm
Real Name: Jennifer
Gender: Female
Location: Hatteras,NC

Ohhhh it Burns!

Post by FirebirdNC » Tue Jun 23, 2015 11:52 am

If you are like me (and you should be, some days I am awesome) you probably enjoy a good burn. Even if it was just something overheard what is your fave?

My most recent

EMS worker being asked by friend what was the nastiest perviest thing they had ever seen on the job?

EMS worker: I'm sorry I can't say, your mom asked me to keep that between us.
~Insert clever bon mot here~

User avatar
Rorschach
The Immoral Immortal
Posts: 17724
Joined: Tue Feb 18, 2003 7:35 am
Gender: Male
Location: Glasgow, Scotland

Re: Ohhhh it Burns!

Post by Rorschach » Tue Jun 23, 2015 12:17 pm

:lol:

I was on a football forum a while back and happened to remark "My dad has tits" to which someone replied "Well, he's got at least one"
To Let

User avatar
Rorschach
The Immoral Immortal
Posts: 17724
Joined: Tue Feb 18, 2003 7:35 am
Gender: Male
Location: Glasgow, Scotland

Re: Ohhhh it Burns!

Post by Rorschach » Wed Jun 24, 2015 8:24 am

Alright. How about this then?

I was in a Chinese takeaway with a friend when I was a teenager, being, it must be said, the kind of wanker that only teenagers can be. I was giving the waiting staff some drunken shit which my friend and I found funny but noone else in the place did. When my food came, I wasn't given a knife so I was a wanker about that as well until someone sarcastically shouted "Why don't you just cut it with your patter?".

Served me right, it has to be said.
To Let

User avatar
Deacon
Shining Adonis
Posts: 44194
Joined: Wed Jul 30, 2003 3:00 pm
Gender: Male
Location: Lakehills, TX

Re: Ohhhh it Burns!

Post by Deacon » Wed Jun 24, 2015 2:12 pm

That. Is. Brilliant.
The follies which a man regrets the most in his life are those which he didn't commit when he had the opportunity. - Helen Rowland, A Guide to Men, 1922

User avatar
JermCool
Redshirt
Posts: 4324
Joined: Fri May 04, 2007 2:33 pm
Real Name: Jeremy
Gender: Male
Location: Las Vegas, NV

Re: Ohhhh it Burns!

Post by JermCool » Wed Jun 24, 2015 3:07 pm

Nice. FYI, I'm saving some of these for future use.
Insert Banner Here
"The internet is bullcrap! And everyone on it is retarded!" - Muspar
"All threads should degenerate into the bumming of JermCool." - Rorschach

User avatar
FirebirdNC
Mad Hatteras
Posts: 1959
Joined: Tue Feb 13, 2007 3:00 pm
Real Name: Jennifer
Gender: Female
Location: Hatteras,NC

Re: Ohhhh it Burns!

Post by FirebirdNC » Wed Oct 07, 2015 5:45 pm

Binge watching NCIS, don't judge me.
Bad Guy to Dr.Mallard/Ducky: And whose grandfather are you?
Dr Mallard/Ducky: Depends, what is your grandmother's name?

:)
~Insert clever bon mot here~

User avatar
Rorschach
The Immoral Immortal
Posts: 17724
Joined: Tue Feb 18, 2003 7:35 am
Gender: Male
Location: Glasgow, Scotland

Re: Ohhhh it Burns!

Post by Rorschach » Mon Oct 12, 2015 8:15 am

I was walking down the corridor at work idly whistling the other day when I passed some kid and some girl. The kid immediately started whistling tunelessly in an attempt to annoy me. Without breaking stride, I turned my head and said "I don't really want a whistling competition with you. I'd bet you blow much harder".

And by that, I mean I thought of it about five minutes later in my office.
To Let

User avatar
Dreamer
Redshirt
Posts: 3147
Joined: Mon Aug 18, 2003 7:48 pm
Real Name: Neil
Gender: Male
Location: Austin, TX

Re: Ohhhh it Burns!

Post by Dreamer » Tue Oct 13, 2015 2:24 pm

I dont' know if this rises to the level of some of these.

I was manning a grill with my brother-in-law lurking behind me.

I feel good at a grill. I do feel I know what I'm doing.

I had some chicken quarters heating in the middle of the grill that didn't have the burners on (the peripheral burners were on...) And he kept suggesting I turn on all the burners.

And I said "Well why don't you take over, then, "Chef Boy-R-U-A-D-Bag"?
My sig would have contained the secret of life, but I'd already clicked submit.

Mav
Respect the Wang
Posts: 4109
Joined: Wed Feb 12, 2003 5:50 am
Gender: Male
Location: Sacramento

Re: Ohhhh it Burns!

Post by Mav » Tue Oct 13, 2015 8:04 pm

I was playing Diablo 3 as my all powerful wizard, and right as I killed Zoltun Kulle with a bajillion meteors, I was all "More like Zoltun Uncool." Then I dropped the mic and teleported back to town.
Arc_Orion wrote:<Arc_Orion> Mav is like a very interestingly informed six year old.

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Common Crawl (Research), Google [Bot] and 0 guests