Rorschach's advice for wooing the ladies

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Phong
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Post by Phong » Sun Apr 17, 2005 8:59 pm

I've decided to throw some great ideas in the mix. I hope you don't mind, Rors.

16.) When you're cuddling, make sure you grab her ass or "accidently" fondle her breasts, constantly. It's also good if you can get an erection and make sure she knows it! When they ask "Is sex all you ever think about?" say "YES! Of course!" They love a man who knows what he wants.

17.) Women love openeness, they're always asking us lads to share. So do! When you have to burp, make sure you do it loudly, show her that you're proud to share!

18.) When you're watching movies, or eating out at a restraunt, look at the women in the movie and the other women in the restraunt, comment on them. "That woman in the Red Dress over there has a nice ass." or "Hey, Natalie Portman is such a babe, I would totally bang her." They like to know what they're being compared to so they can live up to your standards.
In the fall of 1972 President Nixon announced that the rate of increase of inflation was decreasing. This was the first time that a sitting president used the third derivative to advance his case for reelection. - Hugo Rossi, Mathmetician.

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Rorschach
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Post by Rorschach » Sun Apr 17, 2005 9:24 pm

/me high-fives Phong
Hee hee hee

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Gowerlypuff
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Post by Gowerlypuff » Sun Apr 17, 2005 11:39 pm

19.) Never ever EVER share your feelings with them. Regardless of what they ask, they love surprise in a relationship. Nothing can be more surprising that suddenly exploding in a fit of rage. The louder the better, so let it build up inside. It's good for the circulation, too. Women love a healthy man.
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Blaze
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Post by Blaze » Mon Apr 18, 2005 1:19 am

20: Always make sure to loudly complain to your friends/coworkers/people at the next table about your woman. Whether she's not putting out enough or ordering food that's more than you think she's worth, she wants to know about it. How will she know which behaviors need improving if you don't let her know, as well as keeping her accountable to those other people?
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Hennet_sim
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Post by Hennet_sim » Mon Apr 18, 2005 2:11 am

good list everyone i wil try it all

jk
... holy shit, Hennet, was that english?-StruckingFuggle
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daemon princess
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Post by daemon princess » Mon Apr 18, 2005 2:17 am

21) Women love guessing games! When something is wrong, don't ever tell her what it is. Act sullen while she tries to guess what's upsetting you. She'll figure it out eventually.

22) Women want to be together all the time unless they don't really love you. Make sure you read between the lines when she says she'd like a little time to herself. If she doesn't want to spend every minute of every day with you, then she is clearly falling out of love with you. The only way you can remedy this is by constantly asking what you did and if she doesn't love you anymore. This will make her fall instantly back in love with you and she'll never want to spend a minute on her own or with friends who aren't you ever again.

23) Women like to be held accountable. Make sure you always notice even the tiniest change in her body weight. Whether or not you approve of her current weight should be the first thing you say whenever you see her. You should notice if she gains or loses just a couple pounds, so she can be reassured that you're constantly sizing up her body to make sure it's up to standards. This shows you care.

24) Show off your sense of humour. If she ever eats anything other than salad, or dares order dessert after a meal, make a joke about how she needs to watch her figure. She will find it hilarious.

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bort
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Post by bort » Mon Apr 18, 2005 2:52 am

ninjas HATE pirates!

or is it: pirates HATE ninjas!?

damn, i can never remember. :?

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25) be really original and tell her that you can make her feel like a real woman. proceed to slowly take off your shirt and ask her to iron it while getting you a beer.

^^^never gets old. :lol:
Last edited by bort on Mon Apr 18, 2005 3:00 am, edited 1 time in total.
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grandjoke
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Post by grandjoke » Mon Apr 18, 2005 2:53 am

Here's another tip that's sure to woo those ladies- If you've got some time to kill before going out, watch INVADER ZIM!!! Yes indeed with the hilarity of Jhonen Vasquez fresh in her mind, she'll be all over you!! /me shoots himself
I can count to purple backwards!

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Makh
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Post by Makh » Mon Apr 18, 2005 3:43 am

I love what I see in Liz's and Rorschach's thread regarding the advice with women/men. Very instructive. I am not talking about the advice itself, but about the perception of the other gender. West culture is somehow... charming and fascinating.

I like that little touch of humor too. :)

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Deacon
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Post by Deacon » Mon Apr 18, 2005 3:58 am

[quote="daemon princess";p="481901"]21) Women love guessing games! When something is wrong, don't ever tell her what it is. Act sullen while she tries to guess what's upsetting you. She'll figure it out eventually.[/quote]
...you sure you don't have the genders backwards on this one? :)
The follies which a man regrets the most in his life are those which he didn't commit when he had the opportunity. - Helen Rowland, A Guide to Men, 1922

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daemon princess
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Post by daemon princess » Mon Apr 18, 2005 4:34 am

[quote="grandjoke";p="481924"]Here's another tip that's sure to woo those ladies- If you've got some time to kill before going out, watch INVADER ZIM!!! Yes indeed with the hilarity of Jhonen Vasquez fresh in her mind, she'll be all over you!! /me shoots himself[/quote]Ooooh...mmm. Yes..mmm. Oooh yes yes yes YES YEEESSS!

I like corn.

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Rorschach
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Post by Rorschach » Mon Apr 18, 2005 10:29 am

[quote="Deacon";p="481979"][quote="daemon princess";p="481901"]21) Women love guessing games! When something is wrong, don't ever tell her what it is. Act sullen while she tries to guess what's upsetting you. She'll figure it out eventually.[/quote]
...you sure you don't have the genders backwards on this one? :)[/quote]

Interestingly, in both threads, I'm noticing a few traits that each sex seems to think is exclusive to the other

Maybe we need a 'How to pull the third sex' thread just to tie it all together

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daemon princess
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Post by daemon princess » Mon Apr 18, 2005 10:32 am

Pretty much nothing is exclusive to one gender or the other. It just seems that way if you only date one sex.

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Rorschach
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Post by Rorschach » Mon Apr 18, 2005 10:36 am

Yes, yes. Typical hysterical woman
/me brings daemon princess a nice, hot cup of tea
Now put it out of your pretty head
















Actually, I guess you're right. People are mixed-up, confused, selfish and crazy regardless of what they have nestling between their thighs

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edge
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Post by edge » Mon Apr 18, 2005 1:49 pm

Rorschach is my hero :D

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