Rorschach's advice for wooing the ladies

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Rorschach
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Rorschach's advice for wooing the ladies

Post by Rorschach » Fri Apr 15, 2005 7:45 pm

I'm saddened by the lack of luvvin' some forumers have indicated in the Make Out thread

Now, those who know me, know that I am a shagger of Johnny Holmes poportions, that I'm hung like an Arabian stallion and I can go at it like a sewing machine for hours. My inbox is fuller than my codpiece with eager forumettes worldwide, all wanting a slice of the Rorschach action

However, all these talents come with a price: that I share my many, many gifts with those less fortunate than I (i.e. all of you)

So, without any further ado, here's how you can make like me and look forward to dying of sexual ehaustion by the time you're thirty:

1) It's all about the appearance. If you don't care how you look, why should the ladies? When appoaching your target, take a few seconds to spruce youself up. Spit on your hand and calm your hair. Polish the toes of your shoes on the back of your other leg

2) Ladies love the compliments. Love them. Here are some key words: pretty, nice, teddy-bear. Jam as many as you can into every sentence. As long as they're present, the femme in question won't care about the order.

3) Stride. Women love a good stride. However much you swing your arms when you walk: it isn't enough

4) End every statement with the endearment 'baby'. The more you pronounce the 'b's, the happier she'll 'b'

5) Boast. Women love confidence. If you can alert her to the number of women you've slept with before her then do so

6) Pretend to forget her name, even when you haven't. Women love indifference

7) Talk about your mother all night. Women love a mummy's boy. Lament the day you stopped breast-feeding, at eleven years old and ask if you can call her 'Mum/Mom/Godless foreign variation'

8 ) Mention me. 'I know Rorschach', 'That Rorschach, he's my mate, I know him', 'I can get you Rorschach's email addie' anything like that

That's all I can be arsed typing. I've got loads more, you can PM me but to be honest, if these eight gems can't get you some bumper maybe you should just hand your penis back

You're welcome! :)

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Deacon
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Re: Rorschach's advice for wooing the ladies

Post by Deacon » Fri Apr 15, 2005 7:49 pm

[quote="Rorschach";p="481068"]3) Stride. Women love a good stride. However much you swing your arms when you walk: it isn't enough[/quote]
I can't get to the rest of the post right now, but seriously, I'm not a cross between bigfoot footage and powerwalkers' arms flailing about are considered "sexy" :P
The follies which a man regrets the most in his life are those which he didn't commit when he had the opportunity. - Helen Rowland, A Guide to Men, 1922

Rfairney
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Post by Rfairney » Fri Apr 15, 2005 7:53 pm

*blinks*
good advice here, Will have to try some, specially the Boasting :)

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Rorschach
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Re: Rorschach's advice for wooing the ladies

Post by Rorschach » Fri Apr 15, 2005 7:53 pm

[quote="Deacon";p="481071"][quote="Rorschach";p="481068"]3) Stride. Women love a good stride. However much you swing your arms when you walk: it isn't enough[/quote]
I can't get to the rest of the post right now, but seriously, I'm not a cross between bigfoot footage and powerwalkers' arms flailing about are considered "sexy" :P[/quote]
That's why you're the poor man's me, Deacs :p

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gravity
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Post by gravity » Fri Apr 15, 2005 7:54 pm

/me rolls around on the floor laughing

:lol:

You forgot to mention rolling dice and checking stats!
Image

E2
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Post by E2 » Fri Apr 15, 2005 7:58 pm

and dont forget the snuff, not sure if its that popular over there, but here all girls really LOVE the sight of brown goo running down your teeth from your upper lip :D

http://www.kunskapsmedia.se/img/snus.jpg
Don't say I didn't warn you about my bad sense of humour

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daemon princess
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Post by daemon princess » Fri Apr 15, 2005 8:00 pm

And despite following those steps, Rors manages to get ladies anyway! Impressive.

Rfairney
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Post by Rfairney » Fri Apr 15, 2005 8:02 pm

on their own they are a turn off, but put them all together, and its like blobs of paint on a palette coming together to form a masterpiece :)

Catine
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Post by Catine » Fri Apr 15, 2005 8:15 pm

Ooooooooh Rorschach!

*swoons*

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Rorschach
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Post by Rorschach » Fri Apr 15, 2005 8:17 pm

I really should turn down the sexxy when there's married women about, it's not fair

Catine
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Post by Catine » Fri Apr 15, 2005 8:42 pm

:cry: :cry: :cry: :cry:

But you are supposed to be my sexy cabana boy!

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wocket
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Re: Rorschach's advice for wooing the ladies

Post by wocket » Fri Apr 15, 2005 8:47 pm

[quote="Rorschach";p="481068"] I'm hung like an Arabian stallion [/quote]

More like horsefly, except smaller :shifty:
Buy some Cute Stuff and support this woman.

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Rorschach
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Post by Rorschach » Fri Apr 15, 2005 8:48 pm

NOw here you could use your word :lol:

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Post by tankkisankari » Fri Apr 15, 2005 8:50 pm

[quote="Rorschach";p="481084"]
Me, the 13th Duke of Wybourne, here? In Reallifeforums?
'With my reputation? Has no one thought of the consequences?'
[/quote]
I'll get me coat...

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Deacon
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Re: Rorschach's advice for wooing the ladies

Post by Deacon » Fri Apr 15, 2005 8:57 pm

[quote="Rorschach";p="481068"]'That Rorschach, he's my mate...'[/quote]
If I said that around here, the ladies would say, "Oh, you're gay? Can you give me decorating tips? What should I do with my hair? How do I prepare and servce Roast Duckling a la Orange?" And then I'd get beat up by some little Mexican dude with an attitude for looking at the same general area of the world in which he resides.
The follies which a man regrets the most in his life are those which he didn't commit when he had the opportunity. - Helen Rowland, A Guide to Men, 1922

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