Jokes Few People Will Get

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dburn13579
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Jokes Few People Will Get

Post by dburn13579 » Tue Sep 06, 2011 12:22 pm

Boy: Daddy, what instrument is a Forte?

Dad: I dunno, Son, I've never heard of it either.

Boy: Well, whatever it is, it's louder than a piano.
"Cause dreams, they seem to cost money,
But money cost some dreams."
- 'Yeah, Sapphire', The Hold Steady

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Re: Jokes Few People Will Get

Post by dburn13579 » Tue Sep 06, 2011 12:23 pm

Did you hear that somebody robbed J.S. Bach's house? They stole all of the pedals off of his pianos! The local authorities said that Bach sustained moderate losses, but that the crime hasn't dampened his spirits.
"Cause dreams, they seem to cost money,
But money cost some dreams."
- 'Yeah, Sapphire', The Hold Steady

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Rorschach
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Re: Jokes Few People Will Get

Post by Rorschach » Tue Sep 06, 2011 12:37 pm

What's the difference between Bing Crosby and Walt Disney?
Bing sings but Walt Disney.
---
A guy goes into a baker's and says 'Is that a doughnut or a meringue?'
The bakers says 'No. you're right'.
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Re: Jokes Few People Will Get

Post by Deacon » Tue Sep 06, 2011 9:42 pm

Few people will get those because you need to read it with a VERY thick Scottish (Weegie specifically?) accent to get the bent homophones.
The follies which a man regrets the most in his life are those which he didn't commit when he had the opportunity. - Helen Rowland, A Guide to Men, 1922

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Rorschach
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Re: Jokes Few People Will Get

Post by Rorschach » Wed Sep 07, 2011 7:45 pm

Deacon wrote:Few people will get those because you need to read it with a VERY thick Scottish (Weegie specifically?) accent to get the bent homophones.
They'd probably work in most (all, maybe) Scottish accents.
I'll leave you with the - probably apocryphal - comment from the frustrated Celtic fan seeing Italian defender Enrico Annoni entering the field of play: Aw naw! Noo Annoni's on annaw!
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Deacon
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Jokes Few People Will Get

Post by Deacon » Thu Sep 08, 2011 3:36 am

Hehehe... Terrible :)
The follies which a man regrets the most in his life are those which he didn't commit when he had the opportunity. - Helen Rowland, A Guide to Men, 1922

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Re: Jokes Few People Will Get

Post by Rabidmuskrat » Mon Nov 07, 2011 5:54 pm

I like the idea behind this thread, but the only problem is, that I still don't get all the jokes. :-p

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Rorschach
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Re: Jokes Few People Will Get

Post by Rorschach » Mon Nov 07, 2011 7:05 pm

Dear Jim
My daughter is a big fan of yours. Please could you fix it for her to meet you
Yours
Mitch Winehouse
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Deacon
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Re: Jokes Few People Will Get

Post by Deacon » Mon Nov 07, 2011 11:44 pm

Morrison?
The follies which a man regrets the most in his life are those which he didn't commit when he had the opportunity. - Helen Rowland, A Guide to Men, 1922

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Rorschach
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Re: Jokes Few People Will Get

Post by Rorschach » Tue Nov 08, 2011 8:12 am

Recently deceased Jimmy Saville from 80s British TV show 'Jim'll fix it'.
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Re: Jokes Few People Will Get

Post by ampersand » Tue Nov 08, 2011 1:14 pm

By the way, the musical jokes? I get those, but they're terrible jokes. (Forte is a musical "instruction" for a sudden loud or strong while piano is the opposite, as well as being an instrument. I'm not going to explain the Bach joke. He's done enough decomposing for one era. Plus Bach played the organ. Pianos as we know them weren't invented yet. They did have harpsichords though.)

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Re: Jokes Few People Will Get

Post by Psudo » Tue Apr 24, 2012 6:55 am

I got piano-forte, and Walt Doesnot. I know that "a meringue?" bends into "am I [something]?" but I can't quite work it out. Maybe it says "Am I gay?" It doesn't help that I don't know what a meringue is or how it's pronounced.

I'm reminded of this exchange from a TV show: "Don't walk away like that!" "I'd do a silly walk, but I'm not feeling very John Cleese right now." It was a good show.

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Re: Jokes Few People Will Get

Post by Rorschach » Tue Apr 24, 2012 9:08 am

Wrang. Ahm ah wrang. Am I wrong.

I can only apologise.
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Re: Jokes Few People Will Get

Post by Glennjamin » Sun Sep 09, 2012 10:10 am

Rorschach wrote:What's the difference between Bing Crosby and Walt Disney?
Bing sings but Walt Disney.
---
A guy goes into a baker's and says 'Is that a doughnut or a meringue?'
The bakers says 'No. you're right'.
I (Australian) instantly heard both of these in a Scots voice in my head and laughed out loud. My (American) wife looked puzzled, and I had to read them aloud for her... :lol:

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